I had a disturbing moment of God bringing me up short the other day. I'd like to think that I'm the only who ever falls flat on their face in their own depravity... But at the same time, I am ever so mindful that I live in a fallen world, in the midst of fallen people. And so, with an awkward downcast glance, I share this with you just in case you haven't had this same realization yet. Or just in case you need the reminder.
I spend a decent amount of time just thinking to myself- as a mother to two little ones who can't talk yet, it's one-sided at best when I vocalize my ramblings, so I usually just keep them contained in my head. The great thing is... I can still converse with God in this silence.
I was also telling God how happy it made me to see my little Corbin walking barefoot in the dappled sunlight, how great the trees around the house are, and the beauty I see in the rocky ledge. And then I thought/said: "And the house isn't too bad. I wish I could change a few things, but not so much that it's even worth complaining about! Someday, when I finally have my own place..."
"Your perfect place?" God asked.
I smiled in my heart,"Yup! Someday, we'll finally have the perfect place to live!"
"Will you even recognize it as perfect when perfect does come along?" He asked.
And boom- I saw in my mind's eye all the dissatisfaction and discontent I carry in my heart.
Why am I always striving for something different, something else, something "better"?
When "better" or "best" or "perfect" does sit on my doorstep, do I even recognize it? Or do I walk on by, thinking it will come in some other form? How much "perfect" have I already missed out on because I never gave it the chance to be here, now?! Why don't I let "perfect" be TODAY, instead of thinking it's far off in the future?
I'm still having a hard time wrapping my mind around this little house being the ultimate "perfect" place for my family. And honestly, I don't think it is- this is just a short stop along the way. However- if I realize it is perfect for this short stop, then I won't be blinded to all that God has brought our way.
If God does all things perfectly, and if He has placed us here for this time, then it is perfect.