I was sitting in church on Sunday while everyone else was standing for worship. Normally, I would be standing as well, but Corbin needed a bit of a cuddle while he drank a bottle...it was just that time of day when he needed to take a quiet minute with his Mama. I was pleased to oblige- I don't always get the chance to sit and cuddle him.
After settling him in the crook of my arm and seeing his big brown eyes look into my blues and smiling down at his precious little face, I was thinking how for much of my life, I've always preferred to worship and pray with my eyes closed- a discipline begun to prevent myself from being distracted, but more recently because in not being distracted by those around me, I can let myself become fully engaged in worship and God has pulled me deeper into His presence in stunning and incredible ways- I've seen visions of glory that I can never fully express in words! It's glorious!!
Lately, however, I realize that I'm spending more time with my eyes open and on my boys- making sure that our presence in the service isn't too distracting to others.
My thoughts trained back on our Pastor just as he mentioned "Child-Like Faith...". He continued on; I stayed on that phrase. I looked again at Corbin nestled against me. So fully trusting. Looking at me with those eyes. Knowing that I'll hold him until he is ready to jump down again. Knowing that I'll be there when he runs back to me after playing. Trusting that I'll feed him when he's hungry. Believing that I'll hand him the cup of cold water every time he thirsts. And yes, even, that I will be there to catch him when he climbs on the back of the couch and then jumps off! A parent will take a flying leap to catch that little body as it gleefully flies through the air because that child is COMPLETELY TRUSTING- with Child-Like Faith- that those arms are going to be there to catch him when he falls. Believing that my eyes will be upon him, even when everyone else's are closed.
I was challenged anew. Do I really have that sort of faith? The kind that presses forward, perhaps in a bit of ignorance, but TOTALLY RELYING on God to be there, no matter what it is. Food. Clothing. A journey. A move. Relationships. Finances.
That He has His eyes on me, sees me when I need Him, and even knows before I know that I need Him.
I have a flying leap that needs to be made. I need to climb on the back of a couch and jump- and too often I've doubted that my Heavenly Daddy will be there to catch me before I crash back to the ground. I'm not sure why I doubt- to date, I don't have any broken bones or bruises because He's always been there. He has always been watching for me.
So, moving forward, using this lesson from my son snuggled against me, with Child-Like Faith...my leap isn't from an actual couch, but it's a leap nevertheless, and it will be recorded here.